Being a loving leader starts with curiosity. The second greatest Commandment, "Love your neighbor as yourself" is also known as the Golden Rule. Some take it further by saying "Treat others the way they want to be treated," called the Platinum Rule. The Platinum Rule was popularized by Dr. Tony Alessandra's book by the same name. Everyone is different – with different experiences, perspectives, belief systems, motivations, values, etc. making the Platinum Rule more individualized. I like this distinction a lot.
But I wonder if it misses the big point. The keyword in the Commandment is LOVE. But what's love got to do with leadership? Seriously?
Effectively love someone by not judging them, and certainly not by a label. A label might include the color of their skin, their religion, sexual orientation, gender, political party, etc. Instead, get to know them as an individual. This is the key to loving others like yourself. Every single one of us wants to feel accepted and a sense of belonging. These are basic human needs.
So the key to the greatest commandment - Love Others Like Yourself - is to stop judging and start asking. Questions are the answer. Ask questions that uncover what makes them uniquely them. You may not relate to many things they say. But isn't that amazing? Can you pause and marvel at their uniqueness with a new insight as to why they are the way they are? Nowhere is it written that because someone is different, they are wrong. Nope. Being a loving leader starts with curiosity.
So simple yet so hard. We humans are judgy creatures. And the habit of judging is hard to break. Humans need to feel safe and need to make sense of things. Therefore we tend to jump to conclusions and judge people, situations, and ourselves.
Not only do we need to get to know our neighbors, but we need to accept our differences.
We're bound to disagree. We're likely to see things differently. After all, we have different beliefs and ways of thinking.
Being a loving leader starts with curiosity and leans into openness.
Pope Francis' new autobiographical book entitled Hope is about bringing a greater sense of openness to humanity. This Pope is the most popular global leader and is imploring us to Love. Accept. Be transparent.
So what does this mean for leaders? For the future of leadership?
Do. Serve. Adopt a changed mindset, and changed behavior.
More curiosity less judgment.
Reserve judgment of others. Don't undermine others' efforts. Stop expecting people to think and behave like you might. Instead, have conversations. Bring genuine curiosity to interactions. Ask questions. Doing so helps you see something you likely didn't know before and builds trust.
Here are some questions to get you started. What's your favorite part of your role/job? What do you like least? What do you wish you had more of in your job? What do you wish you had less of? Which of last year's projects was your favorite? Why?
I typically begin the year by immersing myself in an inspirational, mind-shifting book. This year's enlightening read was Simon Sinek's Infinite Game. In this transformative work, Sinek urges leaders to embrace an infinite mindset to secure long-term success and fulfillment. I've passionately recommended this book to numerous friends and colleagues, and if you haven't had the chance to read it yet, I implore you to do so!
Infinite Game relevant takeaways.
Two profound insights from Sinek's book resonate deeply with the essence of the greatest commandment:
Trusting Teams: Cultivate teams that thrive on collaboration, openness, and a robust sense of belonging.
Ethical Behavior: Commit to integrity, fairness, and transparency in all your practices.
These principles foster a positive work environment and pave the way for sustainable success.
Remember, love is an action verb. Leaders influence a lot of people. Incorporate more loving actions (ie curiosity, less judgment, more transparency, more openness) and watch your team respond positively and your success grow over the next few months!
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